In Middle Earth I Am Illiterate

A free verse poem

On a backpacking trip, I become separated from my party
And lost
And I end up in Middle Earth.
I know this because as I’m powering up my single-burner propane stove
Because although I’m good with roughing it
I require my pour-over in the morning,
I hear footsteps

Strange ones.
Like little kids marching with grownups
All at once, they stop
And I’m surrounded by nine persons.
I recognize all of them right away
Now it makes sense, why the landscape looks different
And why I can’t find my way back

Good morning, I say, wondering if they’ll understand me
Or if they speak some archaic form of English or ancient Finnish
Which is what I think Tolkien had in mind,
It’s been a long time since I read his stuff. Not since the movies.
The nine companions, plus the pony who I remember is Sam’s friend Bill
Regard me gravely
Would anyone like some coffee? I ask.

Later, as I travel with them
Because they wouldn’t leave a woman alone in the Wild,
I make sure to not slow them down. They’re on a mission to save the world,
Although they don’t agree as to how
(I know things about them that they don’t know about each other
Because I know the story, I know how it ends,
So it’s awkward and sad talking to Boromir. He looks nothing like Sean Bean).

I grow used to the hairy feet, the pointy ears, the swords, but at night
I hear wolves, not ones like at home but Middle-Earthly wargs
The companions speak soothingly to me, hoping I won’t fret
They share their food with me, and I with them
Though they’re leery of my freeze-dried meals.
Gandalf regards my headlamp with a long and thoughtful look
From under his eyebrows and the rim of his hat

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